


It's Cold Out There

by geek_inherit



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Gen, Groundhog Day References, Phone Calls & Telephones, Time Loop, but less than you'd think honestly, weird plant use but NOT what you're thinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-11-07 21:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20824442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geek_inherit/pseuds/geek_inherit
Summary: After one of Aubrey's magical experiments goes terribly wrong, the residents of Kepler, WV find themselves in a time loop, reliving the same chilly January day over and over again.Duck's phone bill skyrockets. Aubrey makes a discovery. Ned tests the limits.





	It's Cold Out There

When Duck arrives at Amnesty Lodge for Semi-Weekly Pine Guard Dinner, he finds Aubrey in one of the comfortable chairs near the fireplace, sitting completely unlike a normal person. Her thighs are thrown over one of the arms and the top of her head is almost crushed against the inner edge of the other, the back of her head resting on the seat. Her feet kick lazily in the air as Dr. Harris Bonkers lies on her stomach, relaxed into a puddle of fur. 

"What's up, Ruchard?" Aubrey say, eyes still closed.

"... Huh?"

Her eyes open and she raises her hands to explain through gesture. "It's like... Dick's a nickname for Richard-"

"No yeah I get it, that's not my name..."

"Oh darn. I'll get it eventually..." she says placidly, stroking one of Dr. Harris Bonkers' ears between her fingers. “Is it really true the Hornets brought a flamethrower out into the forest today?”

Duck sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jesus Christ, yeah they did. They were doin' one of their stunt videos...”

“Really? I thought Jake was making it up…”

“_Fuck_, I mean, campfires are bad enough… you know all about that, right?”

Aubrey smiles, but before she can reply, both of their heads turned instinctively as they see the Cryptonomica van's eye-catching, clever paint job flash by the windows. A minute later, Ned sweeps in through the door. 

"Hello, my dear compatriots!" he says in his usual declarative manner, kicking snow off his boots onto the mat. 

“Hey Ned,” says Duck, as Aubrey flashes Ned double peace signs. 

“Something smells very good… I assume Barclay’s pulling out all the stops as usual.”

“But before we get down on all that,” Aubrey says, “I have something to show y’all.” She sits up quickly, causing Dr. Harris Bonkers to leap from her lap. He skitters away, presumably off to Dani’s room.

“Uh… okay.”

“It’s down in the basement.” She hops to her feet and scrambles across the hardwood to the door. Ned and Duck follow. When Aubrey reaches the comically large pile of shoes scattered around the mudroom, she unsuccessfully tries to pull a pair of huge flip flops onto her socked feet.

“If this is Pine Guard business,” begins Duck as he waits patiently for her, “shouldn’t we grab Mama and Barcla-”

“Nonono,” says Aubrey, now sporting one lime green croc and a grimace, “They can’t know about this. Not yet at least.”

Ned and Duck make eye contact. Ned shrugs and follows close behind Aubrey as she carefully picks her way through the snow towards the basement. They file through the basement entrance, Ned glancing around for potential onlookers before shutting it behind them.

“So I’ve been looking through Thacker’s journal a lot,” Aubrey begins as they reach the bottom of the stairs, “and he took a lot of notes on the fauna over there. Some of the shit they’ve got over there has some sick magical properties. So I’ve been uhhhhhh…” 

They reach Aubrey’s workspace, which contains several five-gallon buckets overflowing with various flowers and leaves, and even a few full tree branches. None of them look like they came from out behind the Lodge.

“I’ve been... bringing some stuff back with me sometimes?? Please don’t tell anyone...”

“Aubrey…” Duck says warily, as Ned leans in to examine the plants more closely.

“I’ve been trying to like… make potions out of them. For weapons. Against the bom-boms.”

Ned turns his gaze to the pots and pans scattered about, some of which still have the remains of plant residue and God knows what else.

“Are these Barclay’s?” he asks.

Duck notices a shuffling movement out of the corner of his eye. 

“Oh my god _please_ don’t tell him… he’ll be pih-hih-_hissed_ if he finds out I've been using his stuff…”

Duck looks over and sees Thacker, still hunched over in his prison in the kitchen. However, his gaze is lifted from the floor, and there is a spark of recognition in his eyes. 

Aubrey notices where Duck is looking and says, “He does that sometimes... Usually whenever someone mentions Barclay or Mama...” 

As Duck continues to stare at Thacker, there is the sound of clinking glass behind him as Aubrey begins to hunt through a small collection of vials. “He almost never recognizes either of them when they come to bring him food…” she says sadly. “They miss him more than they let on.”

“Are you sure this is safe?” asks Ned, reaching to catch one of the bottles teetering on the edge of the table.

“It’ll be fine,” says Aubrey, as she seems to find what she’s looking for, “Chemistry was always my best subject in school. Look at this!” 

Aubrey holds up a tiny bottle which contains a thick, turquoise blue liquid. It shimmers slightly, like metallic nail polish. “It’s a nice color, which means it’s probably good, right?”

“I’m... not sure that’s how that works…” says Duck.

“But what it’s supposed to do is _super cool_. Even Dani thinks this is a good idea, and she’s like, _super_ smart… Here, catch!”

She throws the bottle underhand to Ned, which turns out to be the worst possible mistake she could have made. Ned is caught completely off-guard and comically fumbles it for several tense seconds. 

“Oh god."

For a moment it looks like Ned’s going to be able to save the bottle, but one flailing hand accidentally spikes it to its doom, right on the steel toes of Duck’s boots. 

The thin glass immediately shatters on impact. The liquid within seeps into Duck’s shoes and the carpet around it within a matter of seconds. A plume of smoke curls up from every surface it touches, turning the room hazy. The three of them begin to cough.

“Holy shit!” Aubrey yells as soon as she catches her breath, “are you alright, Duck?”

“I’m fine…” says Duck, backing away. He pauses for a moment, expecting the liquid to immediately start burning his toes. However, nothing happens. “I don’t think it’s doin', like, _anythin'_, actually…”

“Oh,” says Aubrey, disappointed. She reaches behind her, picks up a notebook, and begins to scribble a few notes.

Almost as if on cue, the trio hears the lodge’s phone ring above them, followed by Barclay’s voice, elevated but muffled almost completely by the ceiling.

“C-Can somebody please get that? Dani? I… I’m kinda busy…”

Several seconds pass. The phone continues to ring. Duck is in the process of removing his shoes. The potion is beginning to congeal, gathering in big clumps on the floor. Aubrey makes a face. 

“I’ve got it!” says Ned, swiftly making his way towards the stairs. Aubrey and Duck follow, the latter tripping over his own feet as he quickly frees his right foot.

"Hello, this is Ned Chicane speaking..." Duck hears Ned say through the door as he stumbles through the snow, his socks now very damp. As he closes the door behind him, Duck hears snatches of a voice on the other line, not loud enough to make out any words. 

"Oh hello! Long time no see! ... Oh sure, he's right here. But you probably already knew that..." Ned says with a chuckle. "Telephone for you, Duck." 

Duck takes the receiver hesitantly. He gets a feeling that he already knows who’s on the other line.

“Did you just see that,” says Duck quickly, cutting across whatever pleasantries the man on the other line was going to say.

_“Huh?” _ says Indrid Cold, thrown off, _“See what?” _

Duck stops short. “Uhhhhhhhhhhh…”

_“I'm afraid I'm not all-knowing, Duck,”_ says Indrid coolly, _“And besides, I’m not within range of Kepler to be able to see anything you’re up to. I can really only get bits and pieces…”_

“So you haven’t been uh… keepin’ tabs on the abominations or anythin'…”

_“Well I’d hope you’d manage to look after yourselves for a bit while I’m on this little vacation… I’m trying to_ not _concern myself with the end of the world at the hands of the abominations at the moment.”_

The word ‘vacation’ sparked an image in Duck’s mind of Indrid, in Mothman form, lounging on a beach somewhere, the extremely curly straw of some fruity cocktail between his mandibles.

“... So if you didn’t see… what happened... then why’re you callin’?” 

A pause. _“Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been up to first.”_ Indrid’s tone is casual, but with a clear bite that makes it obvious what he’s referring to. _“And keep your voice down please, Prying eyes and listening ears and all that.”_

As if on cue, Duck spots Agent Stern strolling past on his way to the kitchen. He gives Duck a friendly wave, looking only slightly confused at the sight of three adults huddled around a landline telephone. Duck nods in return. When he’s disappeared behind the door, Duck glances at Aubrey. She is nervously tapping her fingers together, and Duck is glad she’s past the point of her nerves making sparks fly out of her hands.

She looks so scared that Duck considers lying to Indrid. He takes a deep breath in and releases it slowly.

"Oh my god please don't do it..." Aubrey half-whispers, reading his expression right away. "You don't have to, it's okay..."

“Oh Thank Fucking Christ. Aubrey’s been doin’ experiments with stuff she got from Sylvain and didn’t tell anyone about it.” 

A pause. _“... Can you put me on speaker phone please?” _

Duck obliges.

_“What the fuck Aubrey,”_ Indrid’s voice, still cool and conversational, fills the room.

“I’m _sorry_,” says Aubrey, one part exasperated and one part hysterical, “I’m just trying to help…”__

__

__

_“What did you make?”_

“That one uhhh…” At a pointed glace from Duck she lowers her voice. “The one that we broke, it was uhhhhhh… It was supposed to be a time spell… if you splashed it on something it was supposed to go forward in time a day and then show up in the same spot… I thought it’d be helpful for bom-bom killing because it’d buy us more time to come up with a plan...”

_“Well I don’t think it did exactly that.”_

“Yeah, I mean, Duck’s still here…”

_“So you splashed it… on Duck?”_

“Yeah, Ned threw it at ‘em…”

“I did not!”

“You did uh… you did kinda... punch it at me…”

“I-I didn’t _mean_ t-”

_“Aubrey. What was in the potion.”_

“Ummmmm…” says Aubrey, screwing her eyes shut to concentrate, “There was a little bit of the really twisty plant, and uh…”

“Didn’t you have a notebook…” asks Ned.

“Yeah! Right!” exclaims Aubrey, “I’ll go grab it!”

Duck turns his attention back to the phone. “Why’re you callin’ if you didn’t actually see it break? What happened?”

Duck hears a short sigh on the other end of the line.

_“Can you take me off speaker phone please.”_

“Uh, okay, I mean it’s just Ne-”

_“Ned and possibly the FBI agent who lives in Amnesty Lodge.”_

“... Fair.”

Duck clicks the button and lifts the receiver to his ear again. “What’d you see?”

_"Well, the problem is that I... can't see."_

"... What'd you mean."

_"Just a few minutes ago, everything just… went dark. All at once. I can't see anything that will happen tomorrow, or even the rest of the day."_

Duck breathes out. He makes a grim face at Aubrey, who has returned, out of breath. She has two notebooks in hand, one hers, one Thacker’s.

"What'd he say, Duck?" she demands.

“Hold on a sec,” Duck says to Indrid, then turns his mouth away from the receiver. “We’re gonna have to tell Mama about what you did.”

“No w- _no way_!” Aubrey hisses, recoiling as she hears movement in Mama’s office a few doors down.

_"Well until you mentioned the potion I was thinking it was a result of an abomination's powers..."_ says Indrid slowly.

“Nah, it’s Aubrey’s fault through and through.”

“Shhhh! No I-... I mean I guess...”

“It _is_ your fault,” interjects Ned.

“Shut up, Ned,” says Duck and Aubrey in unison.

Ned throws his hands up in the air and turns away from the two of them. “Just stating the facts!”

“So did Indrid say we’re doomed?” Aubrey asks Duck.

“He doesn’t know. That’s the point. He can’t see the future anymore.”

“Shit.”

"Well, we're fucked," says Ned. 

"Welcome to the Normie Club, by the way," Duck says to Indrid, "I've lost my powers too."

_"You're forgetting that I'm still the Mothman,"_ says Indrid, amused.

"Oh yeah..."

_"I'm surprised to hear you actually_ did _end up losing your powers... it was always a possibility, but not a very likely one. I'm sorry to hear it."_

"Yeah it's... I knew about it too, kinda... but there wasn't really anythin' I coulda done about it, so..."

_"Those things are always the hardest to see. The ones you can only observe..."_

Duck swallows. "Yeah."

Aubrey begins to thumb through her notes. “Um, so Thacker gave all these plants names… but I don’t think they’re, you know, _official_…”

“There’s one he’s called a Willie Nelson,” announces Ned, who is now peering over Aubrey’s shoulder.

“Who’s talkin’ bout Willie Nelson?” says a voice in the hallway. The trio turns to see Mama, leaning up against the doorframe, her arms crossed in an offensive stance. 

“Hiiiiii, Mama,” says Aubrey in a pained voice.

“What seems to be the problem, _Aubrey_,” she asks pointedly. She’s looking directly at Thacker’s notebook.

“Nope… no problem here,” says Aubrey, as Duck begins to sweat beside her.

“_Careful now_,” says Indrid in Duck’s ear. Duck jumps in alarm, as he had momentarily forgotten he was still on the line, and still holding the receiver to his ear.

“Who’s on the phone?”

“Me,” says Duck, without thinking.

Complete silence falls. Mama's sharp gaze meets Duck's, and Duck thinks about how he’s never feared for his life more than in this moment.

“It’s Indrid. Indrid’s on the phone.”

“I made a bunch of potions using Sylvan plants and we spilled one of them.”

“_What_.”

“And it might be messing up time ‘cause it made Indrid lose his ability to see the future.”

“... Well I can say I expected better from the three of you, but -”

“I actually haven’t done anything wrong here,” says Ned.

They all turn to look at him.

“Yes,” he adds awkwardly. “I haven’t done anything morally ambiguous recently.”

“Welp,” says Mama, reaching out her hand for Thacker’s notebook, “if Indrid’s callin’ then what you did must be pretty bad, so let’s see what we’re dealing with.”

_“I have to admit, Duck,”_ says Indrid in Duck’s ear, _“I don’t really know the fauna of Sylvain enough to be… you know… much_ help _here…_” His voice is slightly lower, as if he doesn’t want the others to hear.

“Didn’t get outside much?”

_“Well you understand I was busy making sure that the world didn’t get obliterated by uh… the humans who invaded our home…”_

“You know what? That’s fair. I deserved that one.”

_“... I didn’t mean it to sound_ that _harsh, I apologize…”_

“Nah, you’re good.”

_“I hate to say it, but I believe the best course of action is to wait. I’ll see what I can drum up for information and call back tomorrow.”_

“Great. Bye, Indrid.”

_“Wow, a phone call to Pine Guard HQ that hasn’t ended in y’all running off to save the world,"_ Indrid says with a laugh, _That’s a first.”_

“Yeah,” Duck says, smiling, “Nice change of pace.”

“So many of these I added just because I thought they looked cool…”

“Aubrey. I hope I don’t have to explain to you how bad that is.”

“You know what?” says Duck as he hangs up the receiver, attempting to inject some confidence into his voice, “It’s likely that potion’s not even gonna last for very long, if it has any _real_ effects at all. I mean, it was one little bottle, right?”

Aubrey hesitates. “I mean yeah, I guess…”

Duck pats her on the shoulder, only a little bit awkwardly. “It’s gonna be all good, Aubrey.”

***

“Well _that’s_ not good.”

Hollis is standing by their snowmobile, hands on their hips as they watch the rest of the Hornets scramble about, frantically trying to douse the flames of several small fires scattered throughout the clearing. Duck stands next to Hollis, mouth agape.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re _doing_?!”

“We have it under control,” says Hollis calmly, as a few yards away a Hornet rips off her flaming jacket and stomps on it.

“Also, it’s really cold!” hollers Keith from several feet away, where he and a few others are shoveling snow with their hands on top of the flames. “That means the trees won’t catch on fire as quick! Right?” He sniffs and wipes his nose. “Right Hollis?”

Hollis remains tight-lipped, staring at Duck.

“We _literally went over this_ YESTERDAY,” says Duck, rubbing his eyes, “You guys can do your cool stunts out in the woods, just as long a-”

“The fuck you mean yesterday?”

“-on’t bring a FLAMETHROWER… Jesus Christ I told ya ‘bout how dry the trees are this time of year… I can’t believe you’re already out here giving it a second try...”

“What are you _talking_ about? This isn’t something we do on the reg."

Duck falters. “... Well it seems like it...”

“We’ve never brought the thrower out here before. Found it online a few weeks back, and it just got here today.”

“... You can buy flamethrowers onli-”

“You can buy _anything_ online. We tried supporting local businesses first, of course, but for some reason they don’t carry flamethrowers in little towns out in the middle of the forest.”

Duck is too thrown-off to pay attention to what they’re saying, or notice as the last flame is finally doused. A cheer rings out from the group.

“Alright, Hornets,” says Hollis, as they hop onto their snowmobile, “Let’s ride.”

“Wait, hold on-” Duck begins, but gets drowned out by the roaring of engines as the Hornets peel out of the clearing. The flamethrower, precariously strapped to the back of Keith’s snowmobile, waves ominously in the wind.

Duck stands there for a moment, surrounded by slightly singed earth, the gears in his brain working overtime to process what Hollis had said. Then a crazy thought enters his mind.

He fumbles for his radio and holds down the button.

"Juno? This isn't an emergency, but... what day is it?"

A few seconds pass. _"Huh?"_

"I need to know what day it is."

... _"It's Wednesday, Duck, why'do ya..."_

"It's not. Yesterday was Wednesday."

_"I am 100% sure it is Wednesday today. I am looking at my computer display. It says it is Wednesday. January 16th.”_

Duck feels a sinking feeling in his stomach.

_"Really, Duck, you should get one of those watches with the date on it or somethi-“_

“Fire’s out. I’ll be back to fill out the paperwork in a sec.”

***

Now that his attention was drawn to it, Duck was starting to notice the little things. Like how as he plods through the muddy snow residue on the sidewalk (too dangerous for A Normal Human With No Particularly Special Abilities to skateboard through), there are the same storm clouds as yesterday gathering on the horizon, promising another dumping within the hour. And then there’s Leo Tarkesian, crossing the street and giving Duck a little wave, just like he did yesterday. Duck quickens his pace.

Duck composes himself enough to not barrel through the door of Amnesty Lodge, which is a good call as Dani is standing just a few feet away, facing Aubrey. Aubrey looks as panicked as he feels, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Aubrey, what the _fuck_ is goin’ on…” says Duck without introduction.

“You too?! See, I’m _not_ crazy…”

Dani lets out a short sigh. “Okay. Okay.” Her tone is even, clearly trying to stay calm for Aubrey’s sake. “So. Please start over.”

Aubrey takes in a deep breath. “You know the magic experiments I was doing.”

“Uh huh.”

“So I guess I… fucked up… enough to… put the entire town in a time loop… except for _us_, apparently…” She gestures to herself and Duck then takes in another deep shuddering breath. “Oh my god…"

“Shhhhh, it’s okay,” says Dani, gently grabbing Aubrey’s hands, “We can fix this.”

“If you were able to put us in this loop, there’s gotta be a way you can get us out of it, we just have to find it-”

“Oh my god, not you too,” says Mama as she enters the room.

“Yep, me too," says Duck, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then he remembers something. "Oh my god Ned was there too... Have you heard from him yet? Do you think he’s…”

A few minutes later, Aubrey, Duck, Dani, and Mama are all crowded around the landline.

“Ned. It’s Pine Guard Dinner Night,” says Aubrey, cutting across Ned’s usual spiel about the Cryptonomica’s business hours.

_“No it’s not,”_ Ned scoffs, _“That was last night, remember?”_

“Yes. Yes it was.”

He continues as if he does not hear her._ “I even wrote it down in that little calendar you got me for Yule to make sure I remembered..."_ he says, _"Then I crossed off the day… or at least I thought I did… hmm... Anyway, I understand how you could be confused, friend Aubrey, it happens. Especially when you get older like me…”_

“Ned you constantly lie about being thirty-five. You gotta get better at keeping up the illusion.”

_“Thirty-five is old!”_

“He’s been thirty-five for three years,” mutters Duck under his breath.

_“Anyway, it’s been great talking to you, Aubrey, but I have to get back to the preparations for_ Saturda_-”_

“There isn’t gonna BE a Saturday, Ned,” says Aubrey exasperatedly. “It’s Wednesday. Again. And we don’t know how long it’s gonna be Wednesday, but I have a sneaking suspicious it’s gonna be Wednesday for a _while_.”

Ned is silent for a moment, then bursts out in hearty laughter.

_“No way… it’s just not possible… here, let me get another opinion. Kirby?”_ His mouth turns away from the receiver, making his voice sound distant. _“Kirby what day is it?”_

The reply comes from too far away to be caught by the phone.

_“Ha ha, veeeeery funny. I need an actual answer please!”_

A few tense seconds pass.

_“Are you SURE.”_

Mama and Aubrey make eye contact.

_“Are you_ positive_?”_

Duck has his face buried in his hands.

Ned returns to the receiver. _“... What the fuck.”_

“So we really _are_ dealin’ with a Groundhog Day situation, aren’t we,” says Mama.

"Hey, has anyone seen my wok recently?"

Barclay enters the room, wiping his hands on his apron. 

"Aubrey has," says Mama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back, and we're writing more Amnesty fic! This might be a bit longer (my wip for this is currently 37 pages long huhuhuh) (this chapter alone was nine of em) (i know this was a long chapter (at least for me) but there wasn’t really a good place to break it. and i wanted to set up what’s basically gonna be the framework of the plot right up front.)
> 
> Just a bit of context, I started writing this fic a _loooong_ time ago (hence the 37 pages). I think I got the idea back before the shapeshifter arc even properly began (so around ep. 21 or so... which i think was January 2019-ish? it's been rotting in google docs for a _while_... but I couldn't stop thinking about it). So that's where this fic picks up, about a week or two after the tree abomination is defeated. Everything before this date is canon, including everything that happened to Indrid (which I know the fandom likes to ignore), and everything in the lunar interlude.
> 
> This Groundhog Day-esque idea has changed a lot since I first started writing it. (Btw: never seen Groundhog Day (or at least all of it) so I’m making my OWN RULES) (also i forgot eleventh hour existed until like page 15 of my wip for this whOOPs) I've rewritten this first chapter alone at least 6 times, maybe more. This story was originally going to be almost completely Duck-centric, as he was going to be the only person trapped in the loop (because i like to make him suffer i guess????). But then I was like “but i wanna write more aubrey tho” and also Danbrey Called To Me (because god knows this fandom needs more danbrey content) and I also have some good ideas for some _mean_ things to do to Ned Chicane, so now they’re both in on the fun. 
> 
> Btw, Indrid’s probably going to be a pretty big part of this. Which also wasn’t in the original plan. But I love writing the bastard so Here He Stays. (I’m thinkin about adding indruck. I mean it’s pretty good, not _excellent_, and _certainly_ not the best Amnesty ship (which I’ve already tagged for don’t worry it’ll be in here soon) but I have some ideas and we’ll see where the story takes me. I have like. no control over my writing whatsoever. remember the 37 pages.)
> 
> Anyway, that was the longest author's note ever, and hopefully the next chapter will be up soon unless college kills me first! Please comment tellin me whatcha think so far! Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> P.S. I've got a quandry for y'all (that I do think about sometimes. well actually like a _lot_), how old do you think Ned Chicane is? Because in the canon, Clint's said he's in his mid-to-late-30's, but I feel like he is a man who _constantly_ lies about his age so it's hard to really say. Like, he could be in his 50's. Or late 40's. I personally like to think he's younger than Duck by a few years (which might be controversial), which tbh kinda makes my brain hurt. It also makes me sad because _yeah_. Anyway the Amnesty timeline is soooo broken bro
> 
> P.P.S. i've never actually said this before but come yell at me on tumblr. i'm the-geek-shall-inherit and i'm not actually on there as much anymore because FUCKIN SKOOL AMIRITE


End file.
